Who says Ah Lian English is poor? Just read below – hers’ one is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Ah Lian: Sorry no stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is Jude Law. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Ah Lian: Hello, who called me just now?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Ah Lian: Siam a bit can or not?
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Ah Lian: I buy you drink.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Ah Lian: (pointing at the door) Can use or not?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Ah Lian: No need feel shy-shy one.
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Ah Lian: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Ah Lian: I don’t want.
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err... Leo, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Ah Lian: You siao is it?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Ah Lian: Shut up!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Ah Lian: What the fuck are you staring at?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Ah Lian: I die…
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Ah Lian: Why like that one?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Ah Lian: Like that also don't know how to do meh?
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Ah Lian: Fuck off!
Monday, May 18, 2009
母语
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13 comments:
有些是牛头不对马嘴的
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Ah Lian: LOOK what lxnjxao?
hahahahaha ~ i m also so ah lian sometimes!
okok...i Siam for u, u walk u walk~~
I'm ah beng too!
Aiyo,local english more friendly lah!
if u dun like ahlianahbeng english then pls go back mars, earth is very dangerous now.
我喜欢这篇，虽然之前好像在email看过。
不过还是很好笑~
女KK.
不是我说的，不过这是你最新的称呼。
That My Goal
恭喜！恭喜！
那证明你的英文造诣深厚嘛。
许钪凯
WHEN SOMEONE LEAVE A COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG
Yankee: Hey, I am kinda like your post, can we be friends?
Ah Lian: Friend lan-jiao!
温柔提醒：以上回复留言纯属玩笑。
阿恺
He he he... me too.
*Blush*
（请大姐替外星人保守秘密……）
Bluesky
为了不想再引起博界的轩然大波，阁下的意思是...
[ 好的，好的，我闪开，你走！你走！]
哈哈哈，你的留言笑死我啦！
阿葆 Paul
除了第一篇不知所谓的外星人自传，其他都是从朋友转载贴上来的啦！
写英文写到我差点吐血身亡…………
I'll be back!
Everybody watch out.
阿祥
亲爱的，一种米养百样人，外星人早已看破红尘，难道你还没有放下心中的怨恨？
最近我忙着学人家搞些网站小生意哦，私下再和你八卦。
manglish 比 english 有趣多了。
大家都是ah lian ah beng啦～～～
Britons: i gonna warn u ur presence are pretty annoying,be aware if i lost my manner and harm u..
AH Beng:kanxxia!! u still here AHH..u want lim beh chop u 18 pieces or not ahh??still dun want to siam AHH...
Britons: i beg u pardon can u rephrase what u just mentioned
Ah Beng: OIII...kilxxgan ahh?? REPEAT...
I love the last one, straight and directly.
Waiting for your return.
帶刺の蝴蝶
Manglish 确实不是纯正的英语，要学习别人的母语，就要讲好好来，就好像我们也希望别人能够尊重我们的母语一样。
让外星人感到纳闷的是，为什么英文了不起的香蕉人总是比我们多了一份优越感？没有放弃母语的我们为什么又会因为英文烂而感到自卑呢？奇怪嘛！
你的 “大家都是阿炳阿莲”令人很有亲切感哦。
Lala
哈哈哈，你的 Manglish 笑死我啦！
厉害咯你！赢 liao 咯。
Song_4ever
ET will be back on Friday.
Woohoo ~ finally can blog in Mandarin liao, damn happy!
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